Something about the holidays puts a spotlight on how many couples are around you. If you are not in a relationship, like me, you will be reminded of your single status from Halloween to Valentine’s Day. My generation has coined the increasing number of couples during the holiday months as “cuffing season;” which for me, is also known as the time when you are constantly reminded of your everlasting loneliness.
The emergence of pumpkins on doorsteps is a precursor to the loneliness you are about to feel. Before you know it, it’s October 3, also known as National Boyfriends Day. Suddenly, your social media feed is filled with posts of cute couples, some you didn’t even know were dating. Now, not only do you feel single, but also out of the loop. National Boyfriends Day is a catalyst for cuffing season.
For some, being in a relationship is like earning a membership to an elite club, one many are desperate to join. By Halloween, couples are everywhere! This phenomenon has been dubbed the “October canon event.”
I become aware of these couples while searching for a Halloween costume. The internet is filled with couples costume ideas, making the idea of a relationship more relevant for those who celebrate. What could be more of an incentive to have a significant other than imagining yourself in a cute costume with them?
November acts as the aftermath of Halloween. Many people go to Halloween parties where they meet new people; hence, new relationships arise. Even though the main holiday of November, Thanksgiving, is not romantic on its own, the fact that many couples are in relationships gives the month a romantic vibe. November is also a time where we reflect on what we are grateful for, and for many that is their romantic partner. The end of November is also preparation for the most romantic month of all, December.
December kicks off with a Gen Z created holiday on December 3, “Give your significant other a sweater day,” inspired by Conan Gray’s song, “Heather”. Even though much of our attention during December is turned towards Christmas, the focus on the holiday makes it all the more romantic.
Over the years, Christmas has become increasingly commercialized. Instead of thinking about the religious aspects of the holiday, we think about the mood Christmas brings, making the commercial aspect of Christmas something almost everyone can participate in. That being said, gift-giving during this time has become a tradition extended to people outside the Christian faith, leading many couples to buy or create thoughtful presents for each other.
The build up to Christmas is just as fun as the holiday itself, coming from someone who does not observe the holiday religiously. Whether it’s activities like drinking hot chocolate, ice skating, or gingerbread house making, Christmas offers a plethora of activities that could easily be turned into fun date ideas.
After being surrounded by mistletoe, you are further reminded that you have no one to kiss on New Years Eve. When the clock hits 12 on New Years Eve, the only thing that’s touching my mouth are 12 grapes for some better luck next year.
The excess reminders of couples take a short pause until Valentine’s Day. Even though Valentine’s Day is a holiday centered around couples, it is easy to have a good time without being in a relationship. I always find a way to get chocolate for myself, attempting to be my own boyfriend.
My favorite Valentine’s Day activity is to go around asking people if they want a kiss and watch their face fall before handing them a Hershey’s version of one. The creation of “Gal-entines Day,” an alternative to Valentine’s Day where you hang out with your friends instead of a significant other, also allows one to enjoy the holiday without being in a relationship. My mom usually gets me a small gift to commemorate the holiday, a good way to close out the last holiday of cuffing season.
Having lived all my life single during cuffing season I’ve noticed how many activities during this time can be centered around being in a relationship, but what I have also been able to acknowledge is that you do not need to be in a relationship to enjoy every one of these holidays.
A large part of me is grateful to have been able to learn to have fun without relying on a romantic partner. Instead of a couples costume on Halloween, I’ve opted for wearing matching costumes to Chipotle with my friends to get a discounted meal. I find myself enjoying making smores with my friends in Flores when it gets cold rather than rushing to the nearest mistletoe.
My experience of surviving cuffing season while being single has made me realize we enter romantic relationships for the wrong reasons. Instead of dating someone because we genuinely enjoy their company, we feel obligated to match the dating timeline of others. While dating someone may seem fun, do not ignore the “i” in “holidays.”
