Day in the Life of a “Black Comedy” actress
January 25, 2017
5:30 a.m.: Wake up from the annual “Oh no, I forgot my lines!” stress dream.
5:35: Fall back into fitful sleep.
6:30: Struggle to get the dregs of eyelash glue off my face.
7:15: Run out of the house in an attempt to make it to rehearsal (what rehearsal this time? Chorale? Kantorei? something arts-related).
8:20: Write on every dry-erase surface that the “WINTER PLAY IS THIS THURSDAY AND FRIDAY.”
8:30: Attempt to bribe Mr. Soliman’s APUSH class into coming to the play.
9:30: Fall asleep in Review room during free period.
10:55: Fall asleep in Senior Country during class meeting period.
1:00: Acquire lunch on the way to… another rehearsal.
2:30: Make 12 “Black Comedy” references during class that no one else understands.
3:30: Reflect on the fact that this time last year, you told yourself that you’d get your license so you could drive yourself to Starbucks during production week… (Still no learner’s permit. Whoopsie).
4:00: Mad dash to Rice Village for fro-yo.
4:30: Dinner break!
5:00: Start makeup and jam to period-accurate music (the Beatles, of course).
5:30: Decide on a name for your delightfully tall, red beehive wig.
5:35: Dora is a great name for a wig.
5:40: Go check on the boys. Especially the facial-hair application process.
5:45: Try to get used to the fake eyelashes.
5:55: Wrestle with wig in an attempt to get it to fit on my oddly shaped head.
6:00: Put on go-go boots, the final touch on the Twiggy-esque costume.
6:15: Warm-up! (Trinidad! And the big Mississippi, and the town Honolulu… )
7:30: Show time!
7:40: Pray that Ian’s mustache doesn’t fall off today.
7:50: Put on clip-on earrings.
8:00: First entrance!
8:15: Run frantically off-stage to make the only costume change of the show.
8:20: Re-enter into the light.
8:45: Curtain call!
8:55: Struggle to remove wig, hair nets, and 20,000 bobby pins.
9:00: Greet the adoring public.
12:00 a.m.: To sleep, perchance to dream.